Aperture Labratories™ RSS Feed

Lab Boys

BootyEahter — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 19:14:01 +0000

I need more, can some one stea- give me, some more Lab Boys to ra- help, me make some more portal guns. We're almost out. Or something.

Happy Late Labor Day

BootyEahter — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:35:45 +0000

Yeah well, the lab boys didn't warn me...

Leaked Video of Me

BootyEahter — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 19:53:59 +0000

Cave Johnson here,

Today a leaked video of me got on the internet. (It was my dating profile, secretly)
but I ddn't want anyone to know about it. Of course though i (my i key is broken, have to use lowercase) wl show you guys it. {LINK REMOVED}
Please don't show anyone else...

Headcrabs

BootyEahter — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 05:30:51 +0000

Cave Johnson here,
today I am sad to inform you but that some of our... testers... got attacked by some 'headcrabs' if you could please help them, that would help me. It would help me help you help us.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.

List of Portal 2 Achievements.

Rednegade — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 20:55:28 +0000

Friends List With Benefits, Wake Up Call, Confidence Building, Bridge Talent Show, You Monster, Undiscouraged, Bridge Over Troubling Water, SaBOTour, Stalemate Associate, Tater Tote, Vertically Unchallenged, Stranger Than Friction, White Out, Tunnel of Funnel, Dual Pit Experiment, The Part Where He Kills You, Lunacy, Drop Box, Overclocker, Pit Boss, Preservation of Mass, Pturretdactyl, Final Transmission, Good Listener, Scanned Alone, No Hard Feelings, Schrodinger's Catch, Ship Overboard, Door Prize, Portrait of a Lady, Building, Obstacle Building, You Saved Science, Iron Grip, Gesticul-8, Can't Touch This, Empty Gesture, Party of Three, Narbacular Drop, Professor Portal, Air Show, Portal Conservation Society, Four Ring Circus, Triple Crown, Still Alive, Asking for Trouble, Rock Portal Scissors, Friends List With Benefits, Talent Show, You Monster, Undiscouraged, Bridge Over Troubling Water, SaBOTour, Stalemate Associate, Tater,

Turrets

BootyEahter — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 22:34:05 +0000

Cave Johnson here,
today I am, very sad to announce to you our turrets have been broken. Don't tell Black Mesa or they'll take advantage. What's that Caroline? We just sold them all? TO WHO? I'M GOING TO FIND HiM AND TRAP HIM IN HIS OWN BATHTUB. HE'S MESSING WITH CAVE JOHNSON, DO YOU KNOW WHO THA-ok Caroline, I'll calm down.
If you see anybody that ordered more than 3 turrets, attack them.
This is Cave Johnson, we're done here.

Joining Form

BootyEahter — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 02:04:51 +0000

This is Cave Johnson,
today I am here to announce to you, this group. You will all be tested in strange ways. I can not figure out how to change names from officers and all of that crap, and the lab boys are being total jerks, so I will just say it here.
The officers are the test watchers. They will watch you during your tests.
The regular people who join this group, are testers.
This is Cave Johnson, we're done here.