Better to ask why havent you been here sooner.

wtf why am i here

It is an honor being placed in The Royal Guard, my prayers to the grat one have been answered. For Scotland!

I see m'lord. I shall fight for the glory of the Scots!

As I told you when you asked me in person, we have recognised your bravery.

My good lad SPICYMeatball, you have been honored for your loyalty and manliness. In the ongoing war against the King Arse Guard, we need all swords and beards.

Why have I, a simple mercenary, been honored into the prestigious McLad Royal Guard?

Welcome to all new McLad Royal Guard! The war is going well and it is good to see new MEN come to our side each passing day! Long live Rikord, long live the McLads!

I have slain many King Arse Guard and today I count seventy-five. Although this is a lot, it is not enough, and I ask of my fellow Lads to do their part in healing our chieftain.

Lads! How long until we can forge Beardbringer?

The Beardbringer shall be forged!

Aye my fellow lad! Long may he live!

For a true Scotsman never forgets two things: His bagpipes, and his balls.

Long live our chieftain and the penis god!

When shall we next do battle against the tyrants men?