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The (Un)Holy Order of the Pun the Holy Pun
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STEAM GROUP
The (Un)Holy Order of the Pun the Holy Pun
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February 13, 2015
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100 Comments
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Xtrashiny
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:43pm 
I bet at this point these puns are making you gwyn, or perhaps seath in anger.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:32pm 
I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:32pm 
Warning: Incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:31pm 
Why did the scarecrow get an an award?
He was out standing in his field
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich? ... Because the poor had no money.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
Two peanuts walking down the street, one of them's a salted.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there.
I guess I came too soon.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
How does Moses make his tea?Hebrews it.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River? ... WET rocks.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
What do you say to a Buddhist hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does anybody say anything about it?
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Impatient customer, sarcastically: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
"Sit down, sir - we serve anyone."
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf?
Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
What do you call an unemployed jester? ... Nobody's fool.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Aibohphobia (def'n): An irrational fear of palindromes.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
People who say they suffer from constipation are full of ♥♥♥♥.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
What do you call a chicken crossing the road? ... Poultry in motion.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
Says one psychiatrist to his colleague: "You are fine; how am I?"
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in
the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
Geometry holds clues for the meaning of life; look and you will see the sines.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
Old bikes should be retired
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
If a leopard could cook would he ever change his pots?
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
See one melée of unruly people and you've seen a maul.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds?
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
The days of the pocket diary are numbered.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Nuns generally wear plain colours because old habits never dye.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
The carpenter's heavy tools were uncomfortable so he got a little sore.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Sports people can avoid the pain of defeat by wearing comfortable shoes.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
Arthur's Great-Grandson
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth
orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
Serious campers are intense.
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
100% reliable contraception is inconceivable
MrBensonhurst
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
A song about a fajita is usually a rap.