STEAM GROUP
The (Un)Holy Order of the Pun the Holy Pun
STEAM GROUP
The (Un)Holy Order of the Pun the Holy Pun
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February 13, 2015
100 Comments
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:43pm 
I bet at this point these puns are making you gwyn, or perhaps seath in anger.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:32pm 
I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:32pm 
Warning: Incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:31pm 
Why did the scarecrow get an an award?
He was out standing in his field
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich? ... Because the poor had no money.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
Two peanuts walking down the street, one of them's a salted.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:29pm 
I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there.
I guess I came too soon.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:28pm 
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
How does Moses make his tea?Hebrews it.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River? ... WET rocks.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
What do you say to a Buddhist hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:27pm 
If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does anybody say anything about it?
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:26pm 
Impatient customer, sarcastically: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
"Sit down, sir - we serve anyone."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf?
Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
What do you call an unemployed jester? ... Nobody's fool.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
Aibohphobia (def'n): An irrational fear of palindromes.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
People who say they suffer from constipation are full of ♥♥♥♥.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:25pm 
What do you call a chicken crossing the road? ... Poultry in motion.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
Says one psychiatrist to his colleague: "You are fine; how am I?"
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:24pm 
There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in
the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
Geometry holds clues for the meaning of life; look and you will see the sines.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
Old bikes should be retired
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:23pm 
If a leopard could cook would he ever change his pots?
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
See one melée of unruly people and you've seen a maul.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds?
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:22pm 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
The days of the pocket diary are numbered.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Nuns generally wear plain colours because old habits never dye.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
The carpenter's heavy tools were uncomfortable so he got a little sore.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Sports people can avoid the pain of defeat by wearing comfortable shoes.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:21pm 
Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth
orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
Serious campers are intense.
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
100% reliable contraception is inconceivable
Apr 26, 2015 @ 2:20pm 
A song about a fajita is usually a rap.